What Does Sexual Tension Feel Like?

Sexual tension occurs when your brain discovers you’re sexually attracted to an individual, even if you may or may not be fully aware of it. Such tension may be intoxicating and amusing, thus making you over-excited. In most cases, it’s positive, luscious anticipation that you experience in the agony of new lust when you’re eager to get moving and see what will happen next.

Still, sexual tension might be confusing and anxiety-induced. In some extreme cases, feelings of resentment and shame may arise. The reason may lie in body insecurities, sexual performance, or a past traumatic experience. 

Either way, sexual tension signs might be puzzling, especially when they pop up right off the bat. To help you spot the sexual tension, you may look for the following hints: 

  • You feel butterflies in your stomach when you think about the object of your sexual desire;
  • Your heart beats faster, and you sweat when you’re around the person you’re into;
  • You can’t help smiling or laughing.

Is It Mutual?

Sexual tension appears when you sexually desire an individual, but you’re not sure what may happen. Therefore, you might have found yourself wondering whether you’re the only one who feels it. Luckily, there are certain signs which confirm that sexual tension is mutual.

The most striking clue is that strange sexual chemistry everyone senses whenever you and the person you desire interact. Further, if both of you maintain constant eye contact and can’t look away during your conversation, you are undoubtedly into each other. The longer you gaze into each other’s eyes without saying a word, the stronger the attraction is. 

Remember those accidental touches on your knee, hand, or back? Well, they weren’t accidental at all. Such subtle touching that makes you dream about what would happen if it lasted longer is yet another sign that sexual tension and desire exists between you. Plus, your or the other person’s voice may change while you’re speaking. So, don’t be wondering why your voice pitch is going strangely high. Additionally, you may find yourself at a loss for words. Drifting off and not focusing on what you want to say is not uncommon either.    

Next, watch for their body language. Do they blush, giggle, or fidget with their hair? Do they lean or sit very close to you? If they do, you can rest assured they’re lusting. Lastly, if they’re holding you in their embrace and hesitating to let you go at the end of the date, the chances are that a passionate night is nigh. 

Can You Stop Sexual Tension?

Sadly, sexual tension isn’t always an enjoyable experience. Butterflies in your stomach or the tingling of your body are all fine sometimes. However, constant lusting for someone but taking no particular action might make you feel overwhelmed in the long run. For this reason, you need to stop building sexual tension and take some steps to resolve it. (You might be interested to know more about sexual tensions here)

One option is to succumb to your desires and fantasies, particularly if the attraction is only physical. You may masturbate when you’re home alone or openly admit to the person you like that you’ve been craving for them. Another alternative is to acknowledge the tension and thus crush it. In case you’re not ready to directly communicate what you are fantasizing about, you may say to yourself and the other side that nothing will happen between the two of you.

You may also try out specific mental tricks to help you un-sexify the person you’re lusting for and make them less desirable. For instance, you can imagine them in their non-sexy or dirty underwear. You may even go further and picture them blowing (or worse, picking) their nose, biting their nails, or even farting. Whatever you opt for, you will ultimately feel some relief.

How Do You Know if You’re Sexually Attracted to Someone?

Many people confuse lust with love, particularly when sex is involved. Lust is the intense ecstatic feeling you sense when the courtship begins. If we add sexual attraction to it, we’ll get the ideal recipe for romantic confusion. Therefore, how are you to know that you’re not in love, but only sexually attracted to someone?

The simplest way is to see whether you’re in love or just lusting for an individual is to ask yourself whether you’d just want to get physical and have sex with them. If the answer is positive, then you’re only sexually attracted. There is no love involved, as you wouldn’t crave for them physically. (See the difference between love and lust)

Further, if you’re not looking forward to spending your time with them (except between the bedsheets) and getting to know them better, you’re not really into that person. You solely want them for their body, not their personality. You may fantasize about them, but those fantasies are only sexual. There isn’t a hint of daydreaming about your future together.  

Ultimately, you’re emotionally distant from them. The sex is great, and that what you’re here for. You don’t feel like connecting on a more intimate level. Hence, you’re always in the mood for intercourse, but never for any deeper conversation.  


Sexual tension isn’t uncommon for sexually active individuals. If you haven’t experienced it so far, you’re likely to feel it at some point in your life. Generally, such tension is exhilarating and could end up in a wonderful romantic relationship. Still, there are instances when it may lead to anxiety, anger, or shame. To prevent these negative feelings from happening, it’s vital to recognize the tension and take all necessary steps to get rid of it.

Author: blackrabbit798