Author: blackrabbit798

There are plenty of places to have sex out in the world if you get creative, but usually, everyone winds up in the same place: the bedroom. I mean, yes, you can go to your bed, your partner’s bed, or heck, maybe even a hotel bed if you feel like taking a walk on the wild side. For the most part, though, a lot of people keep it pretty vanilla with their location choices for sex… or at least that’s what I thought, until a couple of Reddit threads asked people to share the weirdest places to have sex from their personal experience.

From playgrounds to Target parking lots, let me just say this: People are getting freaky in places way more exciting than the bedroom. Read along and prepare to have your mind blown.

THEY DID IT ON A PLAYGROUND.

Swing, in an empty playground.
With another reddit user, who may or may not see this.
— PurpleThirteen

THEY GOT IT ON IN, NOT JUST ANY PARKING LOT, BUT THE TARGET PARKING LOT.

Target parking lot.
I like to keep things classy.

— kinseytark

THEY BOINKED IN THE CHURCH PARKING LOT.

On the hood of the car in a church parking lot. We were definitely watched, but not by any.. corporeal bystanders.
— transfixedonwhy

THEY DID IT AT A FAMILY REUNION.

Family reunion
— sickjuicy

THEY DID MORE THAN CAST A VOTE IN THE ELECTION BOOTH.

I got f*cked in the *ss at the election booth
— wttk

FORGET MCDONALD’S — THEY PORKED IN A BURGER KING BATHROOM.

Burger King bathroom

— PutinsButtCheeks

THEY ROCKED THE BOAT IN A CANOE.

Floating canoe
— ColdBeef

THEY BROKE SOME ICE DURING A DISNEY ON ICE SHOW.

A Disney Princesses on Ice show. Found an empty dining room only used for bigger events. The table clothes were a nice touch, thanks empty dining room.
— SuckMyUname_plz

THIS PERSON LOST THEIR V-CARD IN A MOVIE THEATER.

I lost my virginity on Easter in the front row of a movie theater. Have also had sex in a bathroom at a gas station that was in a bad part of town.
— debeezy

THEY GOT IT ON IN A CAR OUTSIDE A POLICE OFFICER’S HOUSE.

Back of a car next to my house in the alley infront of my Police Officer neighbors house as he was coming home.
— Full-of-Bad-Ideas

THEY DID IT IN A SHED.

In a tiny shed, resting against a lawnmower

— VapeForMeDaddy

THEY MADE LOVE ON A CLIFF OVERLOOKING A RIVER.

On the side of a cliff over a river.
— NotBearhound

THEY CONSUMMATED THEIR LOVE RIGHT BEFORE GETTING MARRIED.

The court house restroom right before getting married.
— Hey_IT

NOT ONLY WERE THEY IN A POOL, BUT THEY WERE ALSO IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO HER PARENTS.

Did it in her pool when her parents were inside the house
— NeedMoreMayo

THEY GOT X-RATED AT A G-RATED PARTY.

Children’s birthday party (with another adult), her grandmothers closet (with her grandmother in the bedroom), a Pizza Hut, dog shelter (with another adult), one of those mega churches.

— whitegoldz

THEY DID IT IN A STARBUCKS PARKING LOT, AND SHE DITCHED HER DATE FOR IT.

Starbucks parking lot with a girl who was on a date with another guy who was in that Starbucks waiting for her to return to the date.
— donutshopsss

THEY GOT ACROBATIC IN HER BACKYARD.

On a trampoline in my girlfriend’s backyard.
— philnich

THEY SCORED ON A GOLF COURSE.

On a golf course. It was night time, but people saw us and one of them made a joke about “the 19th hole”. Yes, we were drunk.
—girlsdemsugar

THEY DID MORE THAN MOURN IN A GRAVEYARD.

Graveyard.

— FizzFoxFaxen

THEY PROBABLY GOT SAND IN SOME NOT-SO-GREAT PLACES.

Beach at 5am with joggers jogging past
— nickachu_

THEY DID IT WHERE THEIR PARENTS LIVE.

The lobby of my parent’s apartment building.
— jgaskins34

THE GRINDING GOT TAKEN A LITTLE TOO FAR FOR THEM.

Party bus.
— high_side

THEY DID SOME GREAT THINGS ON THE GREAT WALL.

On the Great Wall of China.
— Samseaster

Honestly, that list left me pretty speechless, but let me leave you just one thought: How awkward would you have felt if you were on your family vacation to the Great Wall of China and noticed a couple doing it in the background of your family photo? LOL.

It’s not often that I have cause to feel sorry for an MP. But a nice bit of light relief from the current political chaos was a photo, shared earlier this week, which appeared to show a politician watching something rather interesting on his smartphone, in the House of Commons.

MP Anna Soubry posted the picture on Twitter in the wake of the general election, asking ‘Is this the first Parliament where everyone thinks they’re a winner when in fact we’re all losers except the DUP?’

But eagle-eyed social media users started to wonder what was on the screen of the man sat in front of her – Jonathan Djanogly, MP for Huntingdon.

Hundreds of people piled in, accused the MP of looking at porn at work. In the end, Djanogly was forced to confirm it was actually this image on his Twitter feed (and that he had been in the Chamber, not the House itself)

Nonetheless, it did raise the interesting question around the way we use our phones in public and the workplace. You see, I have found myself in situations where I have had something entirely improper on the screen of my mobile phone, in a setting where nudity really does not belong.

When I’m bored, my fingers take on a life of their own. I flick at the screen of my phone: first Twitter, then Facebook, then my email and by that point, if nothing else has caught my attention, Tumblr.

If you’re not familiar with Tumblr, it’s a blogging platform that has become a bit of a haven for porn. Like on Twitter and Instagram, you chose who to follow, then your account curates photo and text from all those sources. I follow a variety of people from fashion designers to foodies – and in that mix, is porn. Indeed, a study in 2013 concluded that 11.4 per cent of Tumblr’s blogs were “adult”. Which means that a staggering one in 10 of its blogs contained images of people doing the nasty. And that was four years ago.

So, yes, occasionally, when I’m waiting for a lift or a train or I’m in a boring social situation, I will flick over a website that provides me with porn, weaved in with all sorts of other amusing images and articles. And that seems completely normal.

I am not the only one. I can’t count the number of times I’ve sat behind someone on a train who is absent mindedly watching porn or looking at nude photographs. Just looking. Like they would at the football results or Candy Crush.

Cara, 31 told me that she recently sad behind a man on a bus who was scrolling through escort profiles of scantily clad women, presumably selecting someone he wanted to have sex with. This sort of behavior would once have taken place via a nervous phone call from a phone box. For a man, just a few years ago, getting in touch with a sex worker would have likely been the result of consideration and effort. Now it’s a lazy search engine enquiry.

Porn is in much the same place. Once, if you wanted to access X-rated images, you had to put on a wig and a trench coat and ask a man behind a greasy counter to sell you a magazine. Then internet was invented.

I’m a little jealous of those who grew up in a time when typing the words ‘YouPorn’ into a search bar weren’t an option. I can only imagine the excitement that would have come from illicitly acquiring a magazine or video that contained things you had never seen before.

A male acquaintance, who wanted to remain anonymous, admitted to me that he sometimes watches porn at work
But, as with all wonderful things, porn comes with downsides. I strongly believe that our over-exposure to sex has left us needing to have more and more extreme relations. And I also wonder whether our on-screen pursuits are seeping into our everyday lives more than we realise.

A male acquaintance, who wanted to remain anonymous, admitted to me that he sometimes watches porn at work.

“I work long hours, in an office that values presenteeism. If I didn’t occasionally watch porn at work I’d never watch it at all. But I admit that sometimes it’s a weird feeling to be in the bathroom watching a woman having a threesome, and then go back to my desk and swap back to seeing women in a professional context instead of a sexual one.”

I don’t find that having nudes in my Tumblr feed changes the way that I treat the people around me, but there’s no question that it makes me see sex and nudity as unremarkable. When Amber Rose posted a picture of her vulva earlier this week, I didn’t blink an eye. Nudity is nothing to think twice about and I wonder if that might be stripping away some of the magic.

Porn is not shocking and it’s not shameful. It’s wonderful that people feel freer than ever before and that those of more niche sexual persuasions, like BDSM, know that they are not alone.

But the thing about porn is that if it’s not illicit or secretive or hidden, it’s less of a thrill. If you can have it whenever and wherever, it becomes considerably less exciting. In fact it becomes so unexciting that you end up flicking over it on your mobile phone while you’re sitting on a bus, or in the office.

Shocked by my own lack of shock at all this, I’ve taken the step of deleting the Tumblr app from my phone. It can’t be good for me to think that naked bodies on a phone screen are par for the course. From now on I’ll be viewing mine illicitly, vintage style.